


Scaring The Demon | Good Omens

by yourveryownweirdo



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Halloween, M/M, One-Shot, Samhain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2021-02-25 04:47:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21630391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yourveryownweirdo/pseuds/yourveryownweirdo
Summary: Sick and tired of being frightened straight to Hell every year on Halloween, Aziraphale decides it's time to take action. The entirety of October 31 he attempts to take revenge by pulling all kinds of silly pranks. Surprisingly, scaring his beloved demon isn't as easy as he had imagined ...| Good Omens | Aziraphale x Crowley | one-shot | Halloween |
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Kudos: 12





	Scaring The Demon | Good Omens

**Author's Note:**

> Earlier published on my Wattpad profile [meganeorcx]

Crowley nearly woke up when a faint chuckle sounded beside him. His subconscious imagines it's Aziraphale talking in his sleep again so he drifts back to a deep slumber in no time. If only he had known that it was the early morning of October 31. It was still dark outside, with the new moon that had just passed earlier that week. If you listened closely, you could hear something howl in the darkness. Whether it was the wind or a stray was uncertain. Aziraphale had woken up earlier than he ever had and felt jollier than any Christmas morning. You see, every other year, his beloved had scared the literal Heaven out of him on Halloween. This year, however, things would be different. Aziraphale wouldn't take it any longer. It was time for revenge.  
When the clock struck seven, he commenced with his big Halloween plan. He carefully opened the box, just enough for each little creature to crawl out one at a time. Aziraphale had bought exotic spiders from a black market, which he had no clue was an actual black market. He thought that people could just buy whatever animal was out there, for whatever silly purpose. As long as the creatures weren't going to be tortured or worse, that is.  
While the spiders were slowly but surely finding their way to the oblivious demon, who was probably dreaming about driving in a fire-lit car with his lover while listening to Queen, Aziraphale took a good look at him. He loves Crowley dearly, more than he had ever loved himself. Every morning he was blessed with the realisation that the love of his life was next to him, snoring lightly, their bodies pressed against each other to keep warm. There was nothing that he could have wished for that was better than this. While Aziraphale was admiring Crowley's grumpy sleeping face, something tickled his neck. He tried to scratch the itch away but he was greeted by something very furry on his hand.  
Looking at him, so innocently, was one of the exotic spiders. He looked down, to see the spiders not on Crowley, but on him. Their little legs crawling towards Aziraphale's face at the most tremendous speed. He tried shaking them off, not wanting to kill them but also not wanting to be killed.  
He wished he wouldn't scream but really, he couldn't help it. The sticky little creatures were everywhere. So he shrieked, louder than he had anticipated. In a hurry, Crowley was out of bed with an ancient knife in his right hand.  
'Who's there?' He asked, his voice hoarse from just waking up. If Aziraphale hadn't been covered in bloody spiders, he would have enjoyed that precious morning voice like it's the first time he's ever heard it.  
Crowley snapped on a light, revealing his angel in an uncomfortable position, shaking his chubby arms from right to left. 'Spiders!' He whined.  
The demon nearly went back to sleep, insulted that he was woken up for something this pathetic, but then noticed the genuine fear in Aziraphale's eyes.  
'Ah, c' mere. Give me your bathrobe.' He demanded. Aziraphale obeyed and gave the piece of clothing to him, leaving him in his striped pyjamas. He watched as Crowley lit a match and let the entire thing disappear in flames.  
He couldn't believe his eyes as one of his favourite pieces of nightwear had been destroyed. 'My bathrobe!' He cried silently.  
Crowley had one foot back in bed when he said: 'Don't worry, we'll get you a new one.' Then he went back to sleep. Aziraphale stayed behind, confused about the entire situation that he had caused.  
Something was now itching him at his toes. He looked down to see a little spider sit all alone. This one was a lot less scary than the big, hairy ones that were just burned to Hell. He picked up the little fella and looked at it. 'I'm sorry for killing your family.' He placed the little one back in the box and shut it tightly. Later that day, he would build a little habitat for the creature to enjoy but for now, well ... sleep seemed like a proper plan.

A few hours after the first prank, that had gone terribly wrong, mind you, the two lovebirds were sitting at the table for some delicious brunch. Aziraphale had made pancakes, covered in strawberry jam to make it look bloody. Crowley had drawn a big spider in syrup on top of the food. When Aziraphale noticed the spider, he nearly jumped up in fear. Although, he wasn't sure if he was scared of the spider image or the combination of jam and syrup. That much sugar in the morning couldn't be good for you, he imagined.  
When brunch was over, Crowley decided it was time for a shower. Actually, it was the angel who had forced him to do so because it was part of his list of pranks. He had spouted lies ever since they got in the kitchen. 'God, Crowley, you smell awful!' He had told him. He actually smelled like a mixture of vanilla and red wine. 'It's the cigarettes, isn't it!' He had added. But whenever Crowley smoked, he looked so incredibly ... hot. Aziraphale hated lying but he couldn't ruin his second prank too. He was devastated to make this one go well.  
He waited patiently in the hallway. Crowley had a pretty solid shower schedule. First, he would stare at himself in the mirror for about five minutes. Following was him howling to an old rock song on the radio. When the shower had been running for nearly two minutes, he knew it was time to attack. This was the moment where Crowley would be busy washing the endless amount of hairspray out of his hair. Despite his hair being short now, he still does the same routine as when he was a long-haired victorian hottie. Aziraphale likes the current demon a lot but he remembers how hot he looked back in the old days.  
Mask on, fake axe in hand, he silently pushed open the door to the bathroom. The room was smoking hot but that was to be expected. I mean, it was Crowley taking a shower, after all. The mirror was so damp, you couldn't see anything in it anymore. Aziraphale didn't mind, it would only add up to the scary vibe.  
He moved closer and closer until he was standing right next to the shower curtain. He knew he was inaudible because he was nearly deaf due to the volume of the radio.  
A faint noise indicated that Crowley had finally put down his shampoo bottle. Time to attack, the angel thought to himself. He uncovered the curtain, purposely not looking at Crowley's bare body, and started roaring. He waved the fake axe like a madman, his mask nearly falling off, and hoped for a hilarious reaction from his demon. For some reason, the only person he heard scream was himself. He was about to take off his mask when he was pulled into the shower.  
Crowley leaned in closer and spoke: 'Roleplay? What a nice surprise.'  
The rest of the prank faded in a steamy mess of moans and rock music. By the time Aziraphale could leave, he could barely walk anymore. 

The end of October 31 was nearing and the angel was becoming doubtful whether he would be able to scare Crowley. Luckily, no matter how bad his other pranks were, this one was better than both of them together. He had planned every second carefully. Crowley and he would go out tonight for a drink when an unknown man will kidnap the demon in front of the pub. To Aziraphale, it wouldn't just be an unknown man, he had hired the human to make the plan go flawless. He had lent him handcuffs that contained the otherworldly powers -honestly, don't even dare ask why they have something like that- to provide a safe fake kidnapping.  
And so, the two lovers were walking to the pub. Hand in hand because Aziraphale likes to be cheesy. He also needed to focus on something because the anticipation of his final prank was getting to his head. He couldn't show how excited he really was.  
When they were two streets away from the original meet-up spot, a car pulled up next to them. A silver Porsche with blinded windows. A tall, hooded person stepped out of the car. They grabbed Crowley by his collar and threw him in the backseat. Aziraphale nearly cried for help, forgetting it was all his plan but ... As the car drifted away, he felt a fear bubble up his chest. Fear, doubt, confusion. This wasn't according to his plan at all! They had grabbed Crowley at the wrong spot, with a car that's way too expensive than what Aziraphale had paid for, and the person kidnapping his lover seemed ... genuinely evil. After standing perplexed for a couple of minutes, the angel ran to the pub. On the corner, the person he had hired was standing around, smoking a cigarette. Upon seeing Aziraphale, he yelled. 'Oi! There ye 're! Where's tha' goth boyfriend of yers?'  
At that moment, Aziraphale knew, he had fucked up.  
Before he could properly start panicking, an unknown number rang his cellphone.  
'Hello?' He answered. His mind was absent, unconsciously searching for whatever place they could have brought his beloved. The other side of the line remained awkwardly silent but faint breathing could be heard. 'Hello...?' He tried again.  
'Would you like to see him again?' The voice was dark and creepy. It sent shivers down Aziraphale's spine. He suddenly realized who he was talking to.  
Tears started forming in his little eyes. 'Please. Give him back. I'll do anything for you.' That statement seemed to interest the kidnapper and he gave the angel a proposition that was fairly odd but also irresistible. 

Exactly fifty-nine minutes later, Aziraphale was standing in front of an old warehouse building. He was carrying a bag full of random, useless objects that the kidnapper had told him to get. He had hidden a knife in his pocket, in case things turned ugly really fast. He didn't intend on using it, still being the pure soul that he is but he imagined he would make use of it if his love was in danger.  
He cautiously entered the building. It was dark inside, and very chilly. Aziraphale instantly regretted not bringing the fur coat Crowley had gotten him for his birthday. He would freeze to death before he could even find him.  
At the end of the dark, empty space, there was a door with light behind it. 'You could have hidden better,' he mumbled to himself. A sense of pride and courage danced in his head as he strode towards the lit room. When his hand touched the doorknob, that was smoking hot in comparison to the room, his bravery turned into fear. He felt like a dog with his tail between his legs. His puppy face wasn't making the comparison to a dog any better.  
Finally giving up his fright, he threw the door open. In the corner of the room, he sat, blindfolded, with a cloth in his mouth. His hands seemed tied between his back but he wasn't fully sure. 'Crowley! Dear!' He cried. He ran to the demon. 'Are you okay?'  
Crowley didn't reply. Aziraphale instantly feared the worst. Is he okay? Is he unconscious? Did they drug him?  
In the other corner of the room, a figure appeared. It was the hooded kidnapper. The angel immediately stood before Crowley to protect him from the stranger. 'What did you do to him?' Aziraphale demanded in a soft but serious tone.  
The person laughed. An evil kind of laughter, as if a villain straight out of a book or film. 'You may have him back but first... the items.' The voice was deep.  
He reached out with the bag of stuff to give to the kidnapper but ... 'No.' They spoke. 'Put it on. All of it.'  
Aziraphale didn't understand what was happening, or what kind of criminal would demand something like that but he didn't have a choice. He looked behind him, at the seemingly unconscious Crowley. He had to do it, endure the humiliation. For him. He grabbed the first item out of the bag and started dressing in everything he had gotten.  
Five minutes later, Aziraphale was looking as if he had gone drinking and then went shopping at a party store. His trousers were switched for a bright red ballet skirt, revealing his very hairy legs. He had long white gloves on and his favourite tie was switched for a studded choker. As if that wasn't weird enough, he now had kitten ears on his head. In all of his life, he had never been this disturbed by an outfit. He felt humiliated. Humiliated but it was worth it. If it was for Crowley, then-  
Suddenly a bunch of things came down from the ceiling. They looked like ... Aziraphale started screaming. A high pitched scream that didn't seem to come to an end. Above him were a bunch of corpses, hanging from the sky. He wanted to leave, right away. He couldn't, though, because-  
He heard the shutter of a camera and right after, a flash blinded him. When he could finally see again, he saw the hooded kidnapper next to Crowley. The demon was laughing, looking at the camera.  
'Now that is a proper shot.' He said contently.  
A wave of confusion and fury passed Aziraphale. What exactly was going on? He looked back down to his outfit, and suddenly felt his cheeks turn as red as the hideous skirt he was wearing. Then he looked up at the ceiling. The corpses were simply a bunch of old clothes dolls -which, to be frank, is still incredibly scary.  
Crowley rose from the chair where he was clearly not tied up in and threw his arms around the embarrassed angel. 'Happy Samhain, Angel. Next time, don't try to fix pranks over the phone, I have ears.' Aziraphale wanted to cry or punch him but ended up doing neither. He just pushed his face in the demon's chest.  
'I hate you.' He spoke gently. Crowley seemed surprised he wasn't being scolded like he usually would but enjoyed this flustered man a lot.  
'That was epic!' The hooded person yelled. Their voice was suddenly a lot less deep. They took off their mask to reveal a young, female face. Before Aziraphale could question where the deep, scary voice came from, she revealed a voice change-application. The angel now wanted to punch himself. How on Earth had he let himself be humiliated like that?  
'And, have you got an idea of how to properly pull a prank?' Crowley asked.  
Aziraphale simply shrugged. 'Next year, I'm going somewhere far, far away from you during Halloween.' The demon seemed content with that answer too because he knew his beloved would never actually go away without him. That meant he had another 364 days to plan something.  
Crowley leaned closer to his angel to lick his cheek. 'Dinner and some fun tonight? What do you say?' Aziraphale couldn't wish for anything better than that and agreed. The lovebirds went on a stroll to their favourite restaurant and spent a night that was even rougher than the failed shower prank earlier that day.

Aziraphale didn't quite so appreciate it when he found the picture of him in the warehouse on a huge poster in the living room when he woke up. Crowley would end up getting a massive scolding after all. And Halloween had never been more eventful.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed my little fanfiction. I've kind of returned to my fanfiction phase and I'm having the time of my life! Please let me know what you thought of this story! ∞༺♥༻✧


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